The holidays are over, the pictures have been sorted and posted, the new years plans have been made. and there is still so much to do, I feel quite overwhelmed.
A lot of things are taking place this year. This years focus is on structure, consistency, and adventure;
and thats going to be a lot of work for the both of us. Neither my husband or I grew up with a lot of structure, which honestly isn't always a bad thing, but we both feel hindered in the fact that we can't seem to stick to plans that we make or the goals we set. We seem to just do what we feel like doing at the time. and after 2 years of struggling in a lot of area's, we decided its time for change.
So, we have a weekly and monthly goals, including a weekly meal plan. Which with hopefully that in place, we will become healthier. Also we have plans to get out more and explore, as well as walking, although starting very small. Since we get very overwhelmed if we have too much change at once, and end up just giving up. So this is going to be difficult. I think both of us are ready for change, ready for structure, ready to be healthier physically and spiritually.
Our weekly plans, budget, goals, and reminders are all laid out on a giant white board, on our living wall. and we framed our weekly meal plan right next to it :) Hoping that that will help keep us on track, especially since we have each other, and its not just one person trying to achieve so much alone.
Honestly it is so nice to be married to a man, who works on the same things as you, wants to achieve things with you, support you in anyway possible. Someone who shares your life goals. It's so important to share those things with your spouse, even if you have different goals, its great when you can both help each other to achieve them. Support is soooo important. and that is why I am confident in our goals for 2014, because we both support each other, encourage each other, and we are both ready for this change, ready to be better, for ourselves and for each other, and for the future.
The last couple years I've been dieting, I've been through a lot of emotional turmoil, my health and diet did quite a number on me, and its hurt my emotional state and my self-image. I think one of the reasons it's been so hard, is because I wasn't ready for change, I was constantly mourning how things were, or what I couldn't do or have, I wasn't ready to let go, to move on and change my life, I tried to stay in the in between, and it was a roller coaster, also without the consistency or structure, it drove me insane.
It doesn't mean I didn't try, honestly I tried so hard, but while I was trying so hard in so many different area's, I was also in a way working against myself. You know the saying, "You are your own worst enemy", thats what it's been for so long. Of course I do have quite a bit of legit medical problems that do hinder what my full capability is, but before I was putting myself at the standard of normal, healthy people, I constantly thought I was a failure because I wasn't doing as much as others, and in a lot of area's I just can't. but instead of working against myself all the time, hopefully this year, I'll be working on things, instead of expecting myself to be better, and breaking down when I can't, I'm just going to slowly (with the help of the Lord) work on things. It's like when doing sports or building muscle, you can't go in full force to a gym and expect to be capable of doing all the equipment, or you can't do sports and just expect yourself to be awesome, you have to work on it, and start small, and build. Especially so you don't stress yourself out and just quite.
But now that I'm not working against myself anymore, that I've fully surrendered my wants for my needs, I'm ready to start small, to start working on things, learn things, accept things, and move forward with a new life that I may not have wanted, but I know we need, and it will be best for us.
lol maybe I'm full of shit, we will see. I'm just so tired of the dance we have been dancing the last couple years. I am so ready for change, and I know I don't have the same feelings and ties towards things that were holding me back before.
ANYWAYS... :p
This year for the holidays we had our first house guest, my brother-in-law Caleb, who hails from Michigan. (Our homeland) which was exciting and interesting. It was nice to have him here, but I'm not used to living with another person, and with Michael and I being hosts for the first time, for 2 weeks, it was quite stressful, and I'm glad he came out, but it defiantly wore on me and my husband, I'm thankful my husband had time off work once Caleb went home, to rest up. I think I slept for like 18 hours :p haha
I did feel pretty bad, there were days I was cranky, and I needed a break, and I felt like maybe I was mean, or bossy, its really hard to host while needing space.
but I think we all had a good holiday, and it was nice having Caleb here, and I think it was good experience, to prepare us for future family visits.
I do wish my brother-in-law was a bit more vocal about things, I honestly don't know if he liked his christmas gifts, if he had a good trip, or if there was things he wanted to do, I felt like I was constantly asking if he was having a good time, because we couldn't tell. But he talked about coming back, so thats a good sign. If I was an overwhelming crazy bitch sister-in-law I don't think he would be talking about coming back, haha.
Also we had christmas celebration at our house this year, which was awesome. I'm an entertainer, I crave hosting and love having people over. So it was wonderful to have my Mother and one of my aunts over for Christmas eve. Hadn't had a nice family christmas in awhile, at least not more then just Michael, my mother and I. and considering last year we had just moved into our fist place right before Christmas, we didn't have the chance to have anyone over or really celebrate much, no tree or decor, and without snow (since we live in California) it just didn't feel like christmas much at all. So I went full out decor this year :) I think the place looked pretty great if I may say so myself. Plus we were able to get a tree, the tree sellers were literally a block away, so considering we couldn't drive it home, we just walked it home.
I was so blessed as well, a got a bunch of the stuff I wanted, plus thoughtful gifts that I wasn't expecting at all.
Including a new lens for my camera, that has given me a fresh fire to take more photos. Especially as we embark on more adventures this year, and... (wait for it) ...as my husband and I start our NEW joint blog :D super excited about that!....
My husband and I have been talking for awhile about starting a food blog, and then other things we thought would be cool to blog about, especially a travel blog, because we want to travel more.
So we thought, how about we start a blog where we mix food and travel, but since we don't do that all year round, we can't, we then thought....well, wouldn't it be cool if we blogged about, the little stuff too, stuff we do together, even if its not a vacation. and we will both write, a blog written from both of our views on a specific subject. But then I was like, 'we don't always want to get out... so if we are both writing, both of our views, why not make it about, everything we do together? Not just the big and little adventure, but hobbys we work on, places we go, food we try, books we read, movies we watch, just anything we share.' which considering us, could be everything, but we are going to keep our separate blogs, we still have separate things to talk about.
We will see, its still in talks, and we haven't started working on it yet because we are still laying down the guidelines and discussing the plans.
so stay tuned!!!
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