Weight, Self Esteem, and Health Problems.

So everyone talks about how losing weight isn't easy, and i completely agree, and im not trying to make excuses but losing weight with everything i have on my plate is even worse :(

iv been working on the Atkins diet, which is only 20 carbs a day, i started march 1st, iv gone down 10 pounds, and my goal is to loose 40 more if not 50.

the problem is, exercising is tough, with my back the way it is, it effects my neck and hips and can really get tweaked out of place by doing stuff, i'm working on power walking around my house, but thats about it.

Its also hard because since i don't have a job, and i'm pretty much alone all day doing nothing but chilling on my computer or phone, you would think i have time to do things, but like i said, with my back and joints, also my metabolism is pretty slow and my energy levels are really low, it can be difficult to push yourself to get up. i'm going to be looking back into some homeopath stuff to get my energy levels back up.

so im hoping that will help.

But lets not forget that on top of that, diabetics have a much harder time at loosing weight then most because insulin helps store fat, which means the less insulin the better, which means no carbs....sounds easy right? wrong, i have a carb addiction, it is a real addiction like any other addiction (alcohol, drugs, cigarettes). you crave carbs like nothing else, and its hard as hell to break, like im sure other addictions are too. i can splurge every once and awhile, but until i kick the addiction, splurging...never goes over well, and since people don't take this addiction as seriously as others...it screws people up.

it sure has screwed me up. its once thing to love food, its another to crave it, to uncontrollable eating junk, to constantly be thinking about it all the time

to a lot of people, i'm sure this sounds stupid. but its not...i am allergic to wheat corn and oats...but i love them all. and the allergy to wheat is growing within the US and people don't even know they have it sometimes, it can cause many different problems within your body.


anyways back on topic, with all that and like i said the insulin problem, you have to also understand that controlling your blood sugar is key to loosing weight, and i have never been good at that, with help. and i try, i do very much so try. but stress will spike your blood sugars and i stress out about a lot of things.

so even if i find the will to stay away from food thats not good for me, and muster up the energy to exercise, i still have the problem of stress, and stress as you all should know, comes in many forms, from many places.

ever since i gained weight, my self esteem and bottomed out, and it doesnt help being a fashionista serounded by beautiful woman who get tons of hypes, and loves on there pics and the only thing you can think is, they must not like my pics because im overweight...that in itself can cause stress.

BUT! to everyone out there that has a physical, internal health problem or just has trouble loosing weight....its not impossible, it may have taken me 5-6 weeks, but i did loose 10 pounds. all i did...was actually get fed up with being this size, actually trying...because the goal isn't to be perfect at the diet your doing, its to at least try, no...you wont get anywhere if you keep giving yourself excuses to go off your diet, like "oh its the weekend, i can give in for a bit" or "its a holiday, i must splurge" yea i say go for it, but once you make a couple splurges, its hard to stop.

make goals, set a weight goal, give yourself a splurge, don't say your going to splurge on such and such a day. but actually plan out how much carbs or calories your willing to give into every day, or on a specific day.

when you have that one thing to look forward to, its easier to focus and work harder.

if you don't its easier to give in when something u cant have looks good.

for example, 1 dove dark chocolate is 5 carbs, if your on Atkins you can do 20 carbs a day, so you can decide to have one or 2 chocolates a day, and it gives you something to focus on and enjoy, so your NOT depriving yourself.

Im not going to sit here and give you a bunch of words of encouragement on how beautiful you all are no matter what weight you are and all though's blanketing statements.


what i will say is that, if you don't love who you are now, whats stopping you from becoming who u want to be? not saying your not perfect, god made us all in his image, but we can ruin our image by what we put into our bodies, were not all meant to be skinny super models, men aren't attracted to that anyways, i know a lot of real guys, that look at those stick thin girls and go...there not real, why would i want that, a few have even told me, "there is nothing to hold on to, it would be like cuddling with a skeleton" so please don't feel insecure in yourself when you weigh 5-10 pounds over your perfectly normal friends.

But keep in mind, if you wanna loose weight, if you want to get healthier, it is within your grasp and your grasp alone, no one else is going to do it for you.

Everyone's walk with weight loss or self esteem problems is different, even health problems.maybe not for you, but for me, when someone says to me they understand what im going through, i feel a bit insulted, because to a certain degree someone can understand another person and what there going through, but for me...with having a lot of health issue's, unless you have gone through all the problems i have, and even someones life problems effect things, so unless you have gone through those things, no you don't understand, and saying you do comes off as your belittleing my problems. im not going to sit here and tell you i understand what your going through, but if you have felt the way i do about the subject, then to a degree i do understand how it feels, when your problems aren't taken seriously

im not saying telling someone you understand what there going through is a bad thing, just be careful how it comes across, iv had a lot of people i know who havent had hardly any health problems say to me things like "i know what your going through, it must be hard, but you seem to be handling things fine, so hey at least your doing good" or things like " sorry to hear you were in the hospital, i was in the hospital last week for the flu (or something to that extent) so i know what its like"
I think you get my drift :p

i think its just hard for most people who are healthy to understand what people with health problems go through.
Just know, i know what its like to feel inadequate, to feel fat, and ugly, and like you don't matter, to feel like your problems dont matter, to feel belittled, and a lot more.

You're not alone.

I hope someone gets something out of what i have written, if anyone even reads this :p if you have read this i would be greatly honored to hear what you think about the subject or what i have said.

Thank you all for bearing with me.

-SammeyChar

....Gosh i only planned on leaving a little post on my weight loss woes and ended up ranting about a bunch of things. Silly me :