So Sorry, I Lied :\

I know I haven't written anything in a long time. I really did plan on writing more frequently when I started the diet, but things have just been so stressful lately, with the trip to Michigan coming up, and doing the diet stuff.

So here is an update.

I restarted the diet last week, its been a week on it and I'm doing alright.

it's not fun, but I've got stuff to get me through it, and eating bacon every once and awhile helps :p

Good news is, the trip is officially happening! We have decided to drive there and back. Still planning things out, but it's going to be a very full 3 weeks, that Michael and I are very much looking forward too. It feels so great to finally be planning it. :) So...so nice!

I'll give more details when it gets sooner to the trip.

Next week I have a dress fitting for my bridemaid's dress.

I finally got insurance after two months, which is great. So I set up a doc appointment since I haven't had one since January, and it's much needed.

The Virgin Diet

A couple weeks ago, my husband and I, decided to start dieting more intensely. For both of our overall health and my weight loss, but we couldn't find the perfect diet for me. We researched and came up with some solutions and through the last three weeks, I've only been eating healthier: more greens, no corn, no wheat, and no oats. But it wasn't actually a set diet, it was more of just eating healthier until we could find a diet.

This week I was on Netflix and found a reality show: "Freaky Eaters", about people who have addictions to weird food and how their addictions have been out of control and cause harm to their body's. A psychologist and food nutritionist come to the rescue and helped convince them to stop, and show them how they can change their lives and eat different things, usually to save their lives.

On "Freaky Eaters" the food nutritionist is a woman by the name of J.J. Virgin, and she seemed to me as someone who really knew her shit. She knew what she was doing and everything that she had to say really resonated with me. Bringing up a lot of really good points; things that nobody has ever really said to me, and felt a couple of those people on Freaky Eaters had problems that were similar to what I have.

I ended up looking her up on the Internet and I found that she actually had a diet plan, and a diet book out, and a lot of people were backing it up, but her site looked a little gimmicky. So I didn't know if it was real, and if people got real results, or if it was just another one of those diet books that tell you how to eat well and tell you you'll lose a pound a week or a pound a day, and really the whole searching for diet thing is been really stressing me out. There are so many out there, and you don't know which one is going to work, But something just stood out about it. So i asked Michael to look into it, to see if it held up.

So now Michael was looking into the diet, and found that a lot of the problems that she points out in her book that people think are regular weight-loss problems, are actually health conditions and that those conditions might be reasons why you may not be losing weight. One of the more prominent conditions is called Leaky Gut Syndrome (LGS).

Quite a while ago, a doctor told my mother that I have LGS, however we didn't pay him much credence, because the doctor had no proof and when we asked what proof he had, he basically said: "if you cant trust my word, you can go find a different doctor". We didn't believe in him much, simply because what he was asking us to do was so extreme, and since he was so into the whole: eating right, eating healthy, eating raw, that we felt he was putting his own agenda on us, and not actually diagnosing me.

In reading this book my husband has found links to about 90% of the symptoms I have. He has agreed that this diet is perfect for our situation, it's perfect for what we have, what's wrong, and what we need to get into. In all honesty it seems like the Lord put this in our lap at just the right time. Look at the circumstances: I never was interested in watching freaky eaters until two nights ago, and after I did I felt led to look up JJ's website, and I felt led that this book/plan might be different than the rest. It just landed in our lap at the perfect time, after all the things we've gone through. 

I've been struggling with my weight and my health for so long that this is the first time that somebody actually addressed not only what is causing my weight problems, but whats causing my joint pain, and my tiredness, my headaches, my inflammation, and so many other things. It was such a relief to realize that I might actually be able to get healing from this as well.

I'm sure many of you out there can sympathize and understand what it's like to want to achieve a goal that seems impossible, or want to try a diet when you don't know which one is going to work, and after so many failing you don't know if you're ever going to lose weight or if there is a diet that's right for you. And that's why this one seems so perfect is because it doesn't just address nutrition, it addresses actual ailments, it addresses what's wrong with your body and why these foods cause so many problems in your body.

Honestly I have been over so many of these symptoms with my doctors and with all these diets being thrown at my face, nothing seemed to fit. After reading this it was not only like a realization of a good diet for us, but it was a diagnosis of ailments I've had for years. Which is huge for me, I mean this could change so much, I could have energy, and I could have a regulated blood sugar, I could lose weight, my joints won't ache, and I'll just feel good, and so much more.

At long last, it makes complete sense; even with my wheat and corn allergy, because I never had immediate reactions to them like a normal allergy, I always had a delayed reaction, all of which is part of this Leaky Gut Syndrome. Which, in turn, means the someday I might be able to eat wheat again, have toast or sandwiches or pasta every once and awhile, without feeling like complete crap.

The diet itself is pretty extreme: no eggs, wheat, corn, dairy, soy, sugar, or peanuts. But if I can get healing, feel better and lose weight, it's so worth it. It's going to be really hard, but my husband is going to be doing this with me, so that makes things a little easier.

So what it entails is 21 days of cutting out those seven foods, and after the 21 days, you introduce one of them into your diet, one at a time to see if your body can handle it. It's not about taking these things out of your life forever, it's about taking them out and getting a detox from them and slowly introducing them back and your diet to see if your body can handle. In the book she explains why each of the foods aren't good for you. It's not about not being good for you your whole life, but why they cause problems in the body. That they are harder to digest and that your body can be really sensitive to that and it's not about an allergy reaction, it's just about having a harder time dealing with, that cause problems slowly, and since there not immediate problems, you don't associate them with what your putting into your body. Sometimes your body just needs a break and a detox.

After those three weeks, that you can start by reintroducing one of those foods into your body and see how it does. If it doesn't do well, and if you don't feel good, I would say stay off of it. if you feel fine, then you can slowly introduce one by one into your diet after that. Only a percentage though, you can't just start eating all the stuff willy nilly :p

And the best thing about this diet is it's not about cutting out all those things forever, it's about you eating those things in small quantities, just a little bit of them, in treating yourself to those things every once in a while, but cutting back drastically.

I'm going to try and do a diet diary on my blog of the 21 days on this diet, because this is going to be really tough for me and I want to be able to encourage others and to keep a log of how it's going for me each day. So whenever we start this diet I'm going to start blogging more, maybe not every day, but every couple days to inform everyone how I'm doing. It might be more like statuses especially when I'm not in the mood to blog, but at least I will try my best to keep an update on how the virgin diet is working for me. Hopefully by our vacation in June I will have lost some weight so I can feel comfortable wearing a bathing suit again.

I am tired of wearing the same shirt with every outfit because nothing else looks good on me, hides my tummy, and I can't afford new clothes. I'm tired of being fearful of wearing a bathing suit, I am tired of crying on a nightly basis because I don't feel like going out because of how I feel I look. I am tired of feeling guilty after every single thing I eat that is somewhat not good for me, even eating potatoes or rice makes me feel guilty, makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong.

I am tired of feeling like if I go out I'm going to be asked if I'm pregnant, when I'm not, and that it will just tear me to pieces, because in all honesty a few months ago somebody did approach me and ask when I was due, and it really ate at me.

I am tired of living my life like this and letting my eating take control of who I am. This body is not who I am. We all say things like: "be the person you want to be", "don't be scared of what other people say", "don't care about what other people think of you", and "you have no reason to change". When in actuality this isn't me at all, this fat/weight isn't who I am, this isn't how I picture myself and this is not who I want to be.

I can't stop being self-conscious about myself just because somebody tells me that I have no need to be self-conscious about myself, or that God made me who I am, which is false, God gave me a body and I abused it, by eating whatever I wanted. I need to make myself the person I want to be, and I need the courage to do that and I finally have it.

For the first time in my life I feel able to give up the foods I love for the body I want. I feel able to give up that comfort in eating something wonderful so that I can be happy about myself. After you eat some healthy foods for an allotment of time, when you eat something you used to like, suddenly it's gross, and you're scared that everything you used to like, is going to become gross. That's scary. You don't want everything you like to become gross all of a sudden. But in reality it will be worth it in the long run, if the body you want is worth it, then eating what you don't like to someday eating something you don't mind eating, to maintain a body that you Adore, doesn't seem so bad.

No, it's not ideal, but when you love food and you have an addiction to eating it and you don't want to give that up, you need to look at why is that, what do you cling to, what is it about food that makes you want to eat it over being happy with your body. Because from what I've seen on a lot of diet and self-help shows is that it's about comfort and safety, and usually it's because they don't feel safe in any other places in their life.

So look at your life: is there someplace that you probably should feel safe or comfortable? Are you not getting what you need where you should be getting it?, that needs to be the thing that changes, that needs to be the thing that you need to work on, working on the food, working on either the relationship with your husband, or family, or friends. It's about feeling good enough that you don't have to eat to make yourself feel better, but you have to get out there and be happy, figure out whats missing and go get it.

I know that sounds stupid, but I realized that I love food because it was the only thing I felt i had left. My health went so far down the drain. I lost a lot of things that I started losing my figure and even though I gained a husband after moving to California, I lost most my friends and never really had my family and I felt alone and ostracized, and food was the only thing, that made me happy, it is the only thing I felt comfortable with, and other than my husband, who you know he is always made me feel beautiful and it's been me making myself feel not beautiful, because I don't feel like I deserve him.

I realized that it was me that was holding myself back, and that my friends and family, and having those people around me and liking me was was not all important, but instead having one great friend there for me, was pretty big, and all i really needed. but it was also hard on me being home all the time and not being able to get out. To see that you have a future, and that you can do things, and that you're good at stuff, I mean figuring those things out, you will feel like you have a purpose, it took me a long time to get to that place, but you too will find that center, that place where you don't need those things you used to, to make you happy, to be who you want to be, you don't need to have those things to cling onto, you need to find a balance. If you want a better relationship with a friend or a family member, reach out and make that happen.

If your family treats you like shit, stop putting in importance on your family, because what do you care about how they feel. if they treat you like shit, do you want to be like them? i dont think so, so why care about there opinion? dont. Start being your own person and just don't spend time with them, start putting in importance on the people that make you feel good about yourself and the people that love you and that happiness will come. I am not trying to make this sound easy, because it's not. I've struggled with it for years and years of my life and it tore me apart every week, why I couldn't fix myself, be more important, or be more likable to them, why wasn't i important enough to people, to family, to friends, why nobody cared about my opinion, and it was only till recently that I figured out who's opinion I actually cared about, and one of them was myself.

I care about my opinion and in my opinion I don't like where I'm at, I want to change. so I'm going to. your journey is going to be different than mine. maybe everything I'm saying doesn't pertain to you at all, but this is my journey, this is what I've learned, this is what I'm going through, and I hope that someone out there can understand that all the self-help quotes to certain people, like me, is crap. It's not helpful or encouraging. what is encouraging is someone who is willing to listen to all the crap you go through, and to tell you that it's a big deal, that what you're feeling and what you're going through is a big deal, and that it is important, and then also telling you, - but you can change, you can do it because you are tough, and because you have it in you. If you don't have that person to tell you, and you don't have anyone around you who can encourage you, then your around the wrong people, and you need to decide are you going to be around people who love you, and want to see you go far, or are you going to stay around people that want to hold you back and don't care about your well-being.

Because I honestly didn't think I could let go of food. I honestly didn't think that I could let go of something I love so much, But i had three people in my life, who never stopped encouraging me, My husband, my mother and my best friend, and instead of focusing on all the people that didn't care about me, i started focusing mainly on them.

The point is I didnt think i could do anything this extreme, I didn't think I could give this up, but this is to me, a solid guarantee of a diagnosis, and in that diagnosis I have a future, and in the future I will be happier, and I will be proud. With all the days and all the things I've eaten that is made me ashamed of myself and disgusted with myself. The feeling of being proud of yourself for doing something like that is so overwhelmingly powerful it's all worth it.

There is one last thing, I have to give all the credit to the Lord, I wouldn't have been able to do this without his help. He didn't just miraculously make me lose weight, because I probably wouldn't have valued that as much as working it off myself. Even though it's hard, he gave me the strength to say it's okay to give things up. He gave me this diet, and he put this in our laps, and if it doesn't work out, he will put something else in our laps and he will help me move forward with my life because he wants me to be healthy, he wants me to be happy and he wants me most of all to rely on him for everything and we started doing that in our live, and look how things are getting better.

So starting Monday starts my Virgin Diet blog Diary,

And that entails no eggs, wheat, soy, dairy, corn, peanuts, or sugar. For 21 days after that we will see where this takes me. I'm not relying on this diet alone. I'm relying on God and if he has a lesson in this for me, and i don't lose weight, so be it. But I feel this is about me getting healthier, not just losing weight and finally being happy about myself.

If anyone reads this, who took something away from it, or wants to share there weight loss struggles, or other stuff, please comment. I would love to hear anything, anyone has to say.

Good luck to all those out there trying to achieve there weight, and life goals!

Home, Car, Friends, Profession - Update!

UPDATE TIME!

1. I wished I blogged more the last two months.

2. Yesterday we worked out a deal with the apartment management, where we gave them half rent, and then the next half is due on the 15, which is good in the sense that we get to stay here another 10 days, but bad in the sense that we are now broke and will lose the car on the 11th if we don't pay and get kicked out of the apartment on the 18th if we don't pay on the 15th, and Michael still doesn't have a job.

3. Michael said by any means we are getting me to Michigan in June for my best friends wedding, because I decided/figured out that it means more to me to make it to her wedding then to not lose our apartment, so with the little money we had we bought my bridesmaids dress. I'm sure a lot of you think it's foolish, but the fact of the matter is, February was the deadline for getting the dress, and it means everything to me to make it to her wedding since she wasn't able to be my maid of honor in mine. and I miss the living shit outta her. So I got the dress ordered, so everything else is in God's hands (and that money would have only helped us a little, not really saved us from any of these trouble's anyhow)

to also understand why we spent that money, if you didn't already know, let me inform you on something, I haven't seen my best friend in two and a half years, nor any friends for that matter, and she has been one of the only people who has stuck by my side ever since I moved out to california. Also I kinda was the one to get her and her fiance together, so its a big deal that I go... apartments and cars will come and go, but your best friends big day wont happen again (at least you don't count on that happening) so please understand that this is a very large deal to me, one that you may not understand, but thats ok, my husband and I do, and that's what matters.

4. Last month I reached a breaking point, and decided to fully decide if photography is something i'm going to go into for sure (which you should know from my last blog post) well today I took a lovely young lady named Lacey out on a photo shoot (she isn't actually younger then me, it's just a saying).

met her a few months back and I needed someone to take photos up and experiment on, so I texted her and asked if she wanted to be my model for a day and get free pictures done. Which she agreed to.

So today we went out, and I have to say it was a nice day out, I still have no clue WTF I'm doing with my camera, but I think a got a few good pics, and learned a couple things, and had a good time doing so.

So that's new and exciting.

I'll hopefully get the pictures up soon, keep and eye out in future blog posts.

5. My nails have grown really long, they look lovely, and I'm so proud of myself for keeping them so nice :)

6. I'm really scared/nervous abut the situation were in. I know God will provide what we need and a way for me to get to MI, but still with everything being up in the air, I'm a bit stressed. I mean we were supposed to have the tickets bought in Dec, we had the money, we just had to spend it all when Michael lost his job in late Jan, on bills and such, and now everything is a bit of a mess, so much going on, yet nothing at all. There are good things as you can tell, but I'm not sure if they outweigh the bad at the moment. Ok yea sure, job hunting is going great, there are a lot of really great prospects that Michael has lined up, interviews that went good, and things that are looking promising. But getting a job and getting paid might not come in time. Which means taking a few steps back after this huge step forward, we can deal with losing the apartment (as long as we can get everything moved and in a safe place) but losing the car will put a huge dent in our progress, especially if Michael gets a job, most these jobs aren't work from home jobs, and moving back up the mountain he would be over an hour away, depending one job, so it would be really bad if we lost the car... which at this point I don't have much hope for. So things are super stressful right now, so if anyone could spare some prayer for us, it would be greatly appreciated.

Other then all that, its the usual trivial stuff, watched some good movies, played some good games... oh I guess theres one more thing i would like to mention.

7. So last week, Michael got in contact with his brothers and some old friends to have a night of playing Starcraft together, which ended up in a few more people being interested in gaming all together after that, but not all of us played Starcraft, (mainly me, even though I might learn) so after that we all decided since we all play Minecraft we would start up a server and play on there. After one friends failed attempt, (some leadership problems that lead into a lot of drama) my husband talked to some of the guys and they all decided to pitch in and buy a new server, that only my husband would control (since he is pretty good with dealing with these sorts of things) with the server we bought came a mumble account which is kinda like skype but no video, and exactly like Ventrillo, if you know what that is. So we now have a server up that a bunch of us have been playing on and a way to comunicate really easily.

As someone who has missed out on spending time with people other then my family out here and Michael, this has been a great treat, I mean there mostly my husbands friends, and I know I'm not seen as a great asset or anything, and I may not be as close to them as my husband. But they're my friends. Actually there kinda like my brothers, and even though sometimes they're really over the time nerdy (like I can't understand what the hell they're talking about) or a pain in the butt, I do love spending time with all of them, and being involved.

Although I wish I knew for sure if I was there because I'm one of the guys, and their friend, or if it's just because I'm married to their best friend's (because I was in the group before, back when we lived in MI, but not necessarily fully liked or accepted) but since they're guys, I guess I'll never fully find out.

so I just try not to be too annoying and have fun. It's really nice seeing michael reconnect with his friends again :) it's also really nice for me to connect with people again also lol.

So that's what's been going on lately. Quite a bit happening :\

To be, or Not to be: The Start to One Aspiring Photographer's Journey

Last week was a breaking point for me, I realized that in putting down the camera for 2 years (because the new camera was stressful and in moving to California I had/have no friends to take photos of) I cant necessarily consider myself a photographer, yet I get angry when my photography opinions aren't considered.

So I decided, you know what, I need to choose once and for all, is this something I want to do with my life. I need to decide, am I a photographer, or do I just like to snap pics every once and awhile.

Last week I setup a free photo session with a girl I had met a few months back, figured I need someone to take photos of who isn't my husband, and see how I feel about things.

it was supposed to happen today, but got postponed to next week.

but I'm excited, thankfully she is uber excited, but know's my situation so doesn't expect much other then a fun time out taking pics.

The only reason things really changed is because I got a little bit of the burden taken off me, my husband agreed to be a tag team with me and help me with the more technical photoshop side of things, because i know if i'm going to get serious I cant keep using picnik/picmonkey to touch up pics, and in reality, it stressed me the F*** out, especially since I still have to learn my camera. So with Him working on me with that side of things I can focus on just taking pics and figuring out my camera.

Which is huge for me! Because I'm not so good with the technical stuff.

So I started getting excited again about taking pictures.

Then another opportunity popped up, and I really couldn't help but step in. 

My second cousin and his wife are having a baby, and she posted on FB that she was looking for a good photographer and asked if anyone knew of one so she could get pregnancy pics done.

now I've never done pregnancy pictures before, but I felt led to help out anyways, because in all honesty, I needed more experience under my belt, and when it comes to big things like having baby's, and wedding, I figure people want all the pictures they can get.

So I offered to do it for free.

At first I didn't get a respond back, and I told myself, who am I kidding, of course they don't want some amateur kid, who is just figuring stuff out taking pics of them.

but then!...yesterday I got a message back, and she said she talked to her husband and he is really excited about it and would love to set something up further along, maybe in April :)

Gosh did that just make my day... Michael and I are looking at getting thrown out of our apartment, and having to go back to living with my mother and stepfather (whole other story for a totally different time) and here I am by the grace of God, peaceful and excited with these opportunities on my doorstep!

 If its God's will to send us a miracle so we can stay down in our apartment, or to move back up the mountain, either way I see that things are moving forward in other ways, and I really hope they continue to do so.

So right now I'm starting to work on gathering all my past pics together to make a portfolio (of course not all of them, just the good ones) and then at some point my husband is going to help me make a website. Yay!

and ya know, I don't want to candy coat it. We have been going through a lot of crap the last month, Michael getting laid off, looking at losing the apartment and maybe the car, not having the tickets to MI for our best friends weddings yet, its been uber stressful and hard, which were dealing with as best we can.

I just thought i would share my little ray of sunshine poking through the dark clouds with y'all :)

Valentines at the Drive In

Ah Valentines Day, the day that every girl in a relationship looks forward to and every single person dreads.

I am so thankful that I'm not alone anymore and I have my wonderful husband, although this Valentines day I did not look forward to as much, since our financial problems have not gotten better.

Finally things are starting to look up, but only recently did that happen.

Thankfully I had received a little money to help us be able to get out for V-day, in our current situation I know we shouldn't be spending money, but it really wasn't enough to help us out where we needed it, so after praying about it, we decided to go out for the evening.

We didn't do much, got ready, took some pictures, made a quick trip to the store to grab a couple snacks.

All of that was leading up to our big night at the drive in.

I couldn't believe to find out that just a few miles away was a drive in theater, 3 screens, that show 2 movies every night, only for $7 per person, so $14 bucks for the both of us to see 2 movies! and we had been wanting to go ever since we found out about the place, so we figured, what a great cheap way to spend Valentines day!

So thats what we did. We went and saw Beautiful Creatures and Warm Bodies, and I have to say, other then being in pain and not having Ibuprofen, it was a fabulous night!

Beautiful Creatures was way better then i thought it would be, kind of simple movie, but I felt by the end, looking back, the character development was good, the plot was good, and I was greatly impressed on the love story, it wasnt just another teenage love story that seemed immature, it was actually pretty deep. At first it did seem like it happened all too fast, but then later they did explain it happened over weeks/months and considering there back story it all fell nicely together.

oh, and I LOVED the ending, not a typical ending, but not a bad one either, I cant stand bad endings to love stories.

I don't want to give too much away, I would definitely like to go into more detail about certain aspects of the movie, but I don't want to spoil it for anyone.

One more thing I want to comment on is the religion subject. I was worried at first, I really hate when movies or shows showcase the irrational christians, the "crazy" religious people, but i think by the end it balanced itself out nicely.

I know there are those types of Christians out there, just like there are crazy people in every religion and belief, but I cant stand it when the media makes it out to be like, thats what were all like.

its like saying all atheists are angry, or all Muslims are killers... when its not true at all.

anyways thankfully it didn't cross too far over any boundaries, and balanced back out.

there were a couple flaws, but again I can't point them out without giving things away, so oh well.

I dont think the movie is for everyone of course, but me and my husband really liked it.

as of Warm bodies, that was a great movie as well, on the lighter side since it is more comedic, and I thought he did do way too much talking... I thought he should have made it look harder for him to talk, instead he made it look easy... which I thought was a flaw of sorts, but it was enjoyable and I liked the plot a lot.

All together it was a fantastic night, especially since it was Michael's first drive in and we spent less then $30 for our Valentines date out... I do admit, it was a bit hard seeing all my friends posting pics of the thoughtful gifts there loved ones had gotten them, but considering our situation, I understand.

BTW, the top photo is a design me and my husband did for valentines day a couple weeks ago :)
I think its the best we have ever done! oh and its a crappy photo because its an Instagram photo, taken from my phone :\ ill get a nicer one up later

The 2 Week Update, and the Time for Change

Last night was a night to remember, the end to and era you could say.

This year starts a year of many changes, starting with making sure to get to bed by 12, and waking up earlier, whether I have something to do that day or not... and that starts tonight, because last night my husband and I had an all-nighter playing WoW. It wasn't because we wanted to party all night or anything, it was because we had a mission. 

All-in-all, we didn't achieve our mission till 6:38 am, at that point it was getting light outside :p lol definitely something we won't be doing again for quite awhile.

Honestly, just woke up a half an hour ago, haha.

Anyways, I wanted to apologize for the lack of blogging, I've been in a kind of funk the last couple weeks where even though stuff has been happening, I haven't wanted to write about it.

So here I am back after the last forceful blog post, forcing myself to write another one before i go slightly crazy.

So lets shortly go over what's happened recently:

This last week my husband's been home, because he got laid off on monday. They thought that the next website job would be in by now but its not, so please pray for that website job to pull through soon or another job opening, since we cant really survive without the income.

I've started looking for a job, still not sure what I want to do as far as a career, so its nothing big, but I'm putting applications out in the world of retail.

Last wednesday was my disability hearing, quite scary since I've never dealt with lawyers, judges, or courts, and I don't really have any way of telling whether it went well or not, so its all in God's hands, if I don't get it, oh well, if I do, its a blessing.

It was nice though that my mother came down to support me and we went to lunch after, so it was really nice to see her, although it was her birthday on friday and I really wish we had the finances to at least been able to take her out to lunch. But she understands.

Trip planning has been going well, I have everything loosely planned out at the moment, and the trip in June is really starting to come together, it's really exciting, just hopefully I will get a job soon and Michael's job will start back up, so we will be ok financially.

*giggle* I guess this is noteworthy, in the last 2 weeks Michael and I have watched all 7 and a half seasons of How I Met Your Mother :) wasn't what I thought it was about, which actually I'm glad, we ended up really liking it.

All-in-all things have been pretty low key, we have gone out to get sushi once, Starbucks a few times, and Denny's just the other day, but other then that, we have just been home, chilling, or exploring the area a bit.

Right now our goals are, to cut back on going out, eat healthier, loosing weight will hopefully entail, get to bed by 12, and wake up earlier, every day even weekends, for me to get a job, us to save up for the trip, of course take care of my health. I've let go of trying to make friends, maybe its not what God has for me in this time and season, and that's ok, maybe someday.

Anyways for now I think thats it, Happy January Everyone! I hope you all had a good start to the year. I'm hoping to be blogging more frequently, so I'll talk to you all next time.

oh and if you feel led to, please send us some prayer over our situation, much appreciated!

Goodbye, Hello

Today hasn't been going so well for me so far. About an hour ago my favorite mug broke, and by favorite I mean, I didn't use any other mug EVER, because this was my mug and my mug only and I only used that mug. It's basically a member of the family to me, so nonetheless I cried, I was just trying to wash it out and it slipped out of my hand and broke into three large pieces in the kitchen sink. I've always had a problem with dishes because of my small hands and weak wrists (and the neuropathy) and we still haven't gotten soap for the dishwasher in our new apartment. lol which we really should, we are just not used to having one so we always forget.

Anyways, the only reason I'm not depressed right now is because I'm going to be achieving something on WoW (World of Warcraft) tomorrow, and yesterday I went to see my doctor, and it ended up being a great visit, and that always makes everything better for me since I am a little doctor-phobic. Although I did forget to ask if I could get a copy of my x-rays, but whatever it's not super important.

On top of a great doctors visit, even though I was in a little pain all day, I felt good and was happy, I felt that I looked good, so I was comfortable with myself, which is always a big deal. It was just an all around good day...

Doesn't seem today is shaping out to be one of those, on top of my favorite mug breaking I slept pretty horribly, there was some corn in some soup I had last night so my face was a bit puffy, and usually it wouldn't be a big problem, but my husband and I just started a new diet and before we started I was building up my allergies for two and a half weeks. So I don't really have the luxury to cheat anymore.

The good thing out of all this is we are starting a lifestyle change diet, (which just means we are making it a lifestyle change instead of a diet for a certain amount of time) and we're eating healthier now. I'm sure we will cut back more as it goes on, but right now were just cutting a lot of bad stuff out of our eating habits, especially the stuff I'm allergic too. 

I simply didn't find things I used to love, and that weren't healthy for me, good anymore. I was willing to let them go. Before I was holding on to too much to be able to diet properly. Now I feel like losing weight and living healthier is more important than eating yummy stuff.

So as it is, I can splurge for one meal every two weeks, and other than that, I've cut out oats, wheat and most corn (I say most, because the only way for me to cut out corn completely is to go raw, and I just can't do that in my life right now. Corn syrup, and corn starch is in almost absolutely everything, even hot dogs, soups and a lot of other things you might never expect) plus we're cutting out soda, although I can have one Monster energy drink every two weeks. I'm not restricting myself when it comes to sugar or calories, but we are cutting back on red meats, and we are going to try and cut down the carbs, but we are starting small for now. More fruit and veggies, more lean meats, with snacks such as peanuts, cottage cheese, yogurt, and gluten free granola. Just cutting back all together, less pasta and carb-heavy meals, and more salads.

We are still working on it, it sounds very loose for now, but believe me it is a big change. One thing we aren't cutting out is coffee and alcohol, because we really only have it in moderation and both my husband and I agreed, we don't think it causes as much of a problem in our life as food does.

like I said, it's a lifestyle change more than a diet.

Back to last night, so the little bit of corn in the soup I had, threw me a bit overboard and I'm all out of my anti-histamine meds, then I had a low blood sugar at 3:30am in the morning, and since we were out of low blood sugar juice I had to drink some of that naked juice, which if you dont know, its made of all real fruit and veggies... its like if you don't have a juicer you get this stuff, along side some peanut butter... which I guess didn't mix well because when I woke up a couple hours later when my husband woke up, I wasn't feeling well at all.

so my night was pretty crappy :\

Ah well, I'm at least happy I'm able to get some blogging in today. Lately I haven't wanted to blog at all... I mean I've wanted to, really badly, but I just haven't had the inspiration or gumption too :\

so this is nice :)

Ok since I haven't blogged since December, let me think about all I need to fill you in on.

....hmmm.....well last week I was sick, which other then my normal health problems I haven't actually been sick in a long time, which is unusual since I'm (cold) sick 3 or 4 times a year and at least 2 during the winter. So it was actually a large pain in the ass that I was sick :p

but I'm mostly over it now, so yay.

New Years wasn't special at all for us, we just stayed in and watched movies and even missed counting down til midnight, although like I said, we were sick :p but I did start something called Project 365. You take a photo a day with Instagram for a year. A lot of people seem to do themes, but I'm just capturing a photo that represents my day. So at the end of the year, you make them into a photobook. I thought it would be a neat thing to try, and I hope I can keep up with it since I'm not the best at  consistency. I'm going to try my best! Woot!

Here are the photos so far, I'm won't go into the backstory details here, if you want to know they're on my Facebook. Here's the first 9 days so far.

A couple days after new years we got our entertainment center up and going in the living room, It looks great and now things really feel homie, and nice. We need a cabinet or bookshelf for the movies though, they're just neatly stacked against the wall.

The place is really starting to come together. There are things we still need, and a lot of things we would still like, its safe to say the place will be a work in progress for a long time, but for now everything works quite well :) if you look above, picture 6 if the entertainment center.

Oh and I almost forgot, here are some of the pictures from the photo shoot we had at the beach on Christmas eve, the first two and the one at the top of the post are retouched, then I did a collage at the bottom of some of the rest since we did get a lot of good ones. The second one is pretty grainy, only because it was dark out at that point and there was only so much re- touching i could do to fix it, at least on picmonkey, but I loved the picture.

I LOVE this picture of Michael and I, it's so going to be framed in our new place :)

So other than all that the week has been pretty slow, I'm sure you can tell by what I said that I got back on WoW last week, and have been doing things there most days, but nothing else has been happening. I'm hoping we can make it back to Universal Studios this month since we have free passes, we haven't just because we are either forgetting we have passes or don't have the date money since we still need money for food and parking. We decided we're going to try and have a date night every month so I'm hoping this month we will head over there.

Coming soon on our calendar my court disability hearing will be on the 23rd, not much else is going on ATM, but I'll try and let y'all know if something happens :)

So sorry for how long the post is and if it was confusing in anyway... I mostly write what comes out of my head so sometimes it can be scattered :p

Thanks for reading, 'til next time. Happy 2013 Everyone!!!