What is Love?: An Important Talk on Listening

I was watching a movie last night, and this woman with cancer in this small movie arc with the main character, told the main character that he had a gift, and he was like "oh no, its not my field" and she said "No you misunderstand, Listening is Loving"

And I have to agree wholeheartedly. Of course there are other aspects of love, but I believe listening is key.

I want to talk about two situations of listening.

1. To love people, to care for them, the only way to do that is to listen to them. Listen to their hearts, their fears and worries, their hopes and dreams. You can care for someone on a basic level. But to love them, you have to listen. Know their heart. I believe you can't truly love someone, or be loved in return (in friendship or in spouse) if you don't know where there heart is at.

Because we all say selfish and foolish things at times. We hurt each others feelings, and trample on our dreams. Its inevitable with people, because we are all human.

What does matter, is that we know each others heart behind those things. So that when someone is speaking foolishly out of not being heard, we can hear them, or saying mean things and hurting feelings out of their own hurt feelings, we can care for their hurt feelings, and help them heal.

As Valentines Day is coming up, it reminds me on how this is imperative for couples. 

You cannot care for your spouse or significant other while focusing on yourself, you aren't going to be able to care for them in other ways unless you know their heart. and you probably aren't going to make it in the long run, if you don't know each others hopes and dreams.

Arguing is not going to make any situation better until you both take the time to listen to what the other person is trying to say.

Communicating is nothing without listening.

it's all about listening, because you can't care for someone, if you aren't listening to them.

Then we come to my second situation, which is more faith based.

2. I got in an argument recently with a new friend, on a lot of things, but part of the argument was how, when I was opening up my heart and sharing my hardships, she just quoted scripture and wanted to move on. To me it was cold and uncaring. To her, scripture is truth, so it didn't matter how it is said, since God's word is the Truth.

Nonetheless, by that action, I did not feel listened too and my feelings were not cared for.

I do believe Gods words is the Truth, and it can help every and all situations. Scripture was written for all time, BUT when the Bible was written, I believe it was in a time, where people listen to what others had to say, feelings involved or not. When the scripture was laid down, it was just outright listened to. With the meaning grasped, and if not, I believe people still took a step to grasp it. 

Whereas in today's society, we nitpick everything. We put down those who don't have the same beliefs, and foremost, we think about ourselves, our wants, our needs more than thinking of others. It puts us in a place, to not listen so much when others are talking. Because then others are talking, we are to busy readying ourselves with what we have to say or believe.

I believe, to care for people in this generation, and society. We have to tie God's word, in with listening and caring for others. We can just spit it out figuring it will just sink in and hit people. I know for me, when someone tells me what to do, without caring for me, it makes me feel unheard, which then leads to me walling up and getting defensive. Which I see a lot of people do.

People listen, even if its not what they want to hear, when they feel cared for, when they feel like what they are going through is no less then anyone else. 

That's why I want to reach out to ALL other Christians, or even Non-Christians, to say: just because you are speaking the truth, does not mean you are doing it in a caring fashion, and it may be the opposite of what someone needs. Listen to them, hear their hearts, see the person. 

In a society hell-bent on caring for ones personal needs, we can sometimes end up not feeling cared for at all. and I think a lot of people (I know I have) can end up feeling like they don't matter.

Now I would go on another big rant, tying in how you should put yourself in their shoes (which you should) and understand where they are coming from. That we all don't have the same hopes and dreams. We don't all put the same level of importance on the same things.

But that just ties back in, you can't know those things, unless you take the time, and listen.

Understand their heart.

Listening, is Loving.