Pictures.Mall.Family.Party.Orange County= Full Fun Day!

So Saturday I got to head out to Orange county for my cousin's graduation party, but before we went we took some pics and then stopped at the mall to go shopping. I don't get to go to the mall that often so we thought it would make sense to hit two birds with one stone (which btw idk why anyone would hit birds with stones... unless they were crows... because there just evil :p )
but I especially wanted to get to the mall because when we went out for my birthday the time that was supposed to be spent on shopping was spent on meeting a new friend, and I had some money from my birthday that I wanted to spend on something special for myself.
Which I did :D I ended up getting a dress and a necklace, I will post them sometime soon, or maybe add on to this post once I take pics of them.

The party was fun, I really hope I didn't talk too much, but other then that I had a great time, met new people, made new friends, hung with family, didn't get home until 12:15, aaaaannnnddddd left my purse camera at there house :\ so I'm missing some nice pics of me and my cousins right now, so I hope I can get them back soon. but other then that I had great time... one other thing though is I didn't eat anything all day other than a cheesestick, 3 mini red velvet cupcakes and 2 mini lemon bundt things :p lol oh and I did have some fruit, but yea I don't eat well when I'm nervous :p never have, and that was a big bad example of that... shame on me.
but at least I'm ok... i survived!!! lol :p
Overall I think everyone had a good time, and my cousin who graduated seemed to have had really enjoyed herself, I hadnt seen her so happy and outgoing in a long time. so I think it was a good day for everyone.

Birthday 2012

So my birthday was Wednesday, my 19th birthday, not a super big deal like 18, 20 or 21...but hey its a birthday.
three things I prayed for and they came true, looking good (which helps me feel good of course) which it isn't often so I think I can say, I felt I looked great!
2, we were able to go down the mountain out to lunch, which we ate and Red Robin and I got a free meal :) which of course I had my favorite - bacon cheeseburger with BBQ sauce and onion fries on it. It was good, and to the mall, which as it happens I finally met a friend! Didn't end up getting anything even though I spent hours in the two story forever 21 trying things on, and talking to her, so when we were done I was too stressed to make a decision and so we just left :p
and 3, Michael was able to get me a cake :) with my two favorite flavors, Red Velvet and Pink champagne, covered with marshmallow fondant. Which to tell u the truth, will most likely last us a few months.
There were a few downside, like the fact that Michael hallucinated getting me a present and hiding it somewhere where he forgot, so for an hour we searched the house, then it turns out after checking our transactions he didn't end up getting me a birthday present at all :p
and then idk if we got food poisoning or what but both me and Michael were sick all night, which i was exhausted after dinner, and i wanted to go to bed which was at 9:30...but then i got really sick and Michael didn't feel well either, but i thought I was going to throw up for hours so we didn't get to sleep till 1 or so :( but hey we had some fun laughing at failblog for awhile while trying not to move because I might throw up :p
It was nice getting out for the day, I have to admit, I idealize my birthday, my birthdays were some of the best memories I have, Birthdays mean a lot to me, and I know a lot of people see it as selfish, but it was kinda depressing not having a single present to open up on one's birthday, and my own husband not getting me anything... :\ also not having friends to spend it with sucked too.
but thats why since its my 19th, and not important as much, i'm trying to let it go.
all in all, it wasn't too bad, I got to get out, I looked good, I felt good, I made a new friend, and I got an amazing cake that will last me quite awhile.
so that was my 19th birthday for ya.

4th of July Out With my Hubby

So, 4th of July... quite a big day of celebrating. Now I'm not going to get into politics, but i gotta say, while i was watching the fire works, i thought to myself..."someday, most likely in my lifetime we will all be thinking to ourselves how were celebrating a day that isn't true to its meaning anymore" but enough with dreary view of the future I have :p

The day was wonderful, I tried to overcome the fact that I haven't lost weight, but we had a wonderful picnic, saw a wonderful movie, and since we had finally gotten the car fixed the day before (after 7 months of waiting) we were able to spend the day in Big Bear by ourselves. Which was sooo nice, everything in our own time, where ever we want to go when we want to go, it was great.

Got a few good pics of my new hair and I got a few good ones with my hubby so thats nice :)

the fireworks were ok the finale was awesome.

We got there around 2:45, set up, and had our picnic, since we didn't want to sit around all day we decided to head into town and see a movie, we ended up seeing the new Spiderman movie, and let me clear the air for a minute I am a HUGE Marvel fan, X-men comics are my fave, but I love the movies too, the only ones I've never liked is SpiderMan, the plot is good, but I hated who they cast in the first 3 movies. To me Toby McGuire is soooo unattractive, its like he is constantly making the "jizzed in my pants" face and he talks like a child. Oh and Kirsten Dunst has NO character, the most interesting people ended up being the bad guys, and James franco.

But I gotta say, the new one was def a good one, the characters were interesting, and captivating, and Andrew Garfield did a great job of being geeky yet not too geeky :)

it was a good story, although it might not be my movie of the month, but I guess y'all will have to wait to see what that ends up being :p

Anyways check out pics from that day and I hope everyone had a happy 4th of july!!!

Comments below:

New Fave pic of us :)

Michael thought it would make a nice pic with him eating in the background :) nice idea honey, had to cut out his eyes though because he kinda made a face that made him look like he was going to have a nerd-gasm :p 

Our picnic, as you can see we have quite a few goodies :D 

                 

Mom made us subs to take, woot!

If your wondering what these our, Check out the blog post right before this one :)

just chillin, sitting on the ground for a couple hours screwed over my hips/back, good thing we brought pillows :)

Love these things, get them almost every time I go to Big Bear.

 Our picnic stuff!

Blueberry Slab Pie

FYI, if you don't wanna read this all thats fine, but if you want to or are going to make this, make sure to read my last statement at the very bottom :)

So last week I decided I wanted to make blueberry pie for the fourth of july, and was told to find a recipe and gather a list of ingredients we need, and I forgot to do so until Monday. When Monday finally came I had been so focused on being stressed about getting my hair cut at 1:30 that I forgot to stress about a recipe, so in the morning when I remembered I kinda freaked.

So I spent the morning looking for something that sounded good and since i'm a visual person, I went through Yahoo's picture section, and I came across this blogger who posted a recipe for slab pie, the picture she had up looked uber delicious so I gathered all the recipes I had tagged and asked Michael what he thought looked good, and even though I planned on making pie pie, we decided this looked way better, especially even though I like blueberry pie, neither of us were big fruity/desert people. So this sounded perfect.

Thankfully the woman had a link to the recipe so we could make it :)

So after mom took me to get a haircut we went to the store and picked up ingredients and stuff for our picnic then headed home. Michael and I were supposed to make the crust a day ahead of time to like 9pm we got the crust done with and in the fridge, now we were supposed to make it on Tuesday to give us enough time before Wednesday, but we forgot until too late at night :\ 

So Wednesday morning we woke up at 8am to start and finish the slab pie, didn't take us long, I wish I could have done it myself but since the crust was in the fridge Michael had to roll most of it out. and also made the glaze while i was getting ready for the day.

But by 11am it was baked and ready for the eating, we tried a piece and it was ok, we decided it really did need the glaze, so we made the glaze, got ready stacked 4 pieces in Tupperware and left for the day.

Ok was a little gooey, but with the glaze on top it was pretty good, very enjoyable. later that night I put the rest of the pieces in the Tupperware and left it out, which mom then put it in the fridge, I wondered why because it wasn't really going to get bad, but whatever.

The next morning, I woke up and thought it would be a good idea to have a piece for breakfast...and then it happened. For some reason, leaving it in the fridge was a magical process, because once I ate it cold I couldn't put it down, it was one of the best things I had ever eaten, and I wanted to share it with everyone, yet hog it all for myself :p

So the moral of this story is, try it when its hot, but MAKE SURE you also try it when its cold, the texture and the taste stand out more and its wonderful!

If anyone wants the recipe leave a comment underneath and i can send it too you.

Happy July! Looking Forward to Tomorrow and Next Week.

Got a hair cut yesterday!!! yay!!! so i will be posting pics prob of tomorrow when me and my hubby head over to Big Bear for the day.

also since i wont be getting on till most likely this weekend to post stuff Happy 4th everyone!!! woot.

one more week and ill be 19 :D

anyways if anyone reads this, even if i don't know you feel free to let me know what your 4th of july plans are, i would loved to hear it :)

oh and i'm making something delicious tonight for tomorrow, so stay tooned to see what it is.

The Recent Difficulties, and June Monthly Media Highlight.

Its been a very hard couple of weeks, some shit went down that I'm not going to talk about because its personal, but it hit very very hard, then my husband lost his job, now we have literally no money.

my birthday is coming up and all I can ask for is a hair cut. Things have just been down the tubes lately.

but hopefully with God's guidance and help he will show us the path because I can deff see him working in our life, we have been asking for a change... while this may not be how I wanted it to go, it's deff a change.

I just hope we can make it through things ok, it's scary... I do know God has a plan for us and I'm trying hard to trust in that, it's just still scary... and I'm trying very hard to deal with the disappointment of knowing we're not going to do anything this summer, its a big summer, my birthday is July 11th, Michael's is August 11th, our 1 year anniversary is August 25th, and then you have the 4th of July and every warm day to remind you, you can't go swimming or to a water park :\ 

I'm hoping though that we will finally get a paycheck from Michael's old boss that we have been waiting on for months soon and we can put that towards our anniversary, so at least we can go somewhere.

I was just so hoping to get Michael an iPhone for his birthday, birthdays mean a lot to me, and I wanted to be able to get him something.

and ya know I would be ok with my birthday sucking if I at least had some friends to spend it with.... but whatever happens, happens... you can only do so much. I'm just praying I can deal with it all just fine. Its just hard being cooped up every day.

But on a lighter note, me and my mom are trying out this new thing to lose weight, Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar, taking an 1/8th cup twice a day. Its a bitch, I hate it... but it has tons of testimonies to not only help weight loss, but to help stabilize blood sugars, help infections, help skin problems, some organ failure problems and many other things, so we thought we would give it a try, I pray it works.

I'm going to do a little of my monthly media highlight.

First I would like to mention Linkin Park's new cd, and talk about that a bit.

now when it comes to Linkin Park, they're like... my love, they have been my favorite for 5 or 6 years now, and I love everything they do, even when they started trying new things out. The new CD is good, but for me its a little generic, they have some splashes of old stuff in there and splashes of new, but nothing outstanding other then their new song BURN IT DOWN.

Which is a very good song, but the rest doesn't emanate them like there other stuff, the way i feel is if your song is playing on the radio and people can't automatically point it out to be you, then you have gone too astray from the path.

Nonetheless its still a good CD, enjoyable.

I'm sure I just need to listen to the CD more, but 3 times through and not much REALLY stands out. I just wanna see them making steps forward and not back, I fear that might happen and they could lose themselves and their fan base, because Minutes to Midnight was a stretch for them when it came out and I remember how upset a lot of people were, I loved the album, but from there, their stuff hasn't taken off like the rest.

Then again, its just my opinion.

Now... Movie time, I wanna take the chance to talk about Brave, the new Pixar film.

I went to go see it with my mother and it was fantastic, the animation was wonderful, and the plot was good, surprisingly no love interest, which you don't find that much, but still very adorable and great on the big screen. Mirda was beautifully done, her look, and voice and actions were gripping, and her father was the entertainment of the movie, deff brought laughs. and lets not forget her brothers... sooo adorable :) and her mother was the solid rock of the movie.

lol I do remember being in the theater and about 15 mins into the movie, thinking to myself... ya know...I don't even know what the movies is about, since most the main things they show in the trailer have like... already happened. lol kinda made me laugh, so the plot was a little unexpected, but i guess its good to go see a movie and not really know what its about until you watch it :p

overall it was a great movie, with it being Pixar I'm sure nobody expects less. I would say go see it in theaters!

Anyways its back to WoW for me :p  TaTa for now.

The Feelings of a Girl Who Gained Weight

I have recently aquired some new clothes. What a wonderful feeling it is to get new clothes, some new heels too. My only regret is that I am not a thinner person to wear such clothing, I dont pull things off anymore, I merely find things that don't make me look like a cow.
You can say its a harsh thing to say, but to me I was never one of those people who were meant to gain weight, you know some people gain weight and their face can pull it off, their features are wide set and don't look swallowed by fat, but can still stand out....but I do not see myself as one of these people, I see my old self swallowed by a fat suit that just won't go away.
Maybe you can relate, maybe you think I'm over dramatic, either way its how I feel... everytime I look in the mirror once I've gotten dressed up, I get excited thinking that I look great, then we go out and take pics, and when I see the pictures the only thing I can think is how I shouldn't be in front of a camera anymore...its hard to hear people still say I look beautiful, because to me I looked beautiful before so how can this be to the same effect?... they must only see a glimmer of who I once was.

I had started the Atkins diet around when I first started this blog a few months ago. and it was going well, I had a plan I knew what I had to do, I lost 10 pounds in the first 2 weeks, then the second 2 after that, did nothing, my blood sugars were out of control and I had to stop the diet, by then I was supposed to have another plan for a low carb diet, but nothing was laid out so I didn't know what to do or what to follow, and I spiralled back down.... I gained the weight back and for the past month I've been scared to get on the scale... I am terrified of hitting 200... and I'm terrified of never losing this baggage.
It's awful how much clothing I've grown out of, how much I wished I still could wear, its such a sinking feeling when 1/4th of your wardrobe doesn't fit the next year.

Of course I will keep on trying, but to tell you the truth I am completely overwhelmed, looking at all these different diets seeing all the testimonials, not knowing which one to try and then when I finally pick one, looking at it... well for me its like trying to do math, I cant understand it, my brain shuts down, I shut down... and I just try not to cry....
its nothing I'm proud of, I'm not proud of anything much at this point, especially myself, I'm completely ashamed that I let myself go this much and it tears at me every day.

It took a lot out of me to post something like this, I think to myself, well what if I get gudged, or what if people I know see this and realize how lame and pity-party-ish I've become.
and then a have to tell myself that this is the reason I created a blog, to express my feelings, even if they aren't always positive. Because we all have downsides, and if you dont express them, then how can people care for you, how can you let people in... I know some people close to my family who say they want to care and be there for me, but when I talk about anything going on in my life that isn't "positive" they ward it off, like im over-exaggerating, or lying, which to them, they think there trying to be positive and to not talk about bad things is like to not have bad things happen, but they're wrong... really its rude, it makes them seem like they don't care at all, and they don't want to care... because what kind of a person who says they care, only wants to hear about the good and not the bad? In my view... a very shallow weak person. If you really wanna be there for someone you have to put up with the shit, because everyone has baggage and problems... anyways enough of my ranting.

I will continue to keep posting photos of myself, only the good ones of course. Why you might ask, well because its what I do...and if I stop blogging and sharing my photos... then the world would never hear from me and I would be nothing.
On my new clothes, I have posted 2 posts below this one, of 2 events with some of my new clothes.